How Do We Infuse Our Institutions, Networks and Relationships with Trust?

A previous blog post took a look at Ray Kurzweil’s vision of the future in which he believes a massive network of human and artificial intelligence will infuse the universe with intelligence and order and ultimately control it. The blog post also briefly examined “The Quantum Theory of Trust” developed by leading network theorist, Karen Stephenson. The post concluded with a mention of betrayal -- the opposite of trust (for Stephenson) and how betrayal seems to be endemic in so many of our institutions today (my perception). If Kurzweil’s vision of a future universe infused with both intelligence and order is to be realized, it seems that we need to make sure that trust is the basis of that universe.

One person who has dedicated his life to developing an interpersonal communication process that engenders trust, among other positive values, is Marshall Rosenberg. Rosenberg’s process is called Nonviolent Communication (NVC). At the core of NVC are honest self-expression and empathy. Rosenberg believes that everything we humans do is an attempt to meet our human needs. A central tenet of NVC is that when mutual understanding and compassion exist between two people the needs of both persons are more likely to be met.

NVC posits that if two people communicate in terms that are objective and free from judgment, then greater understanding and compassion are likely products of that communication. NVC self-expression has four components: A. neutral observations; B. expression of feelings; C. expression of needs; and D. making requests.

NVC communication: “I am feeling upset now (B.) because the last time I played with you, you broke my toys.” (A.) “When I play with you my need for respect is not met.” (C.) “Would you be willing to play with someone else?” (D.)

In NVC the listener can show empathy for the speaker by listening carefully and then repeating some of the speaker's words. NVC is motivated by compassion rather than blame, guilt or fear. Its aim is to increase compassion between two people who use it and to create a high quality of connection to self and to the other in the communications. "The ultimate goal of NVC processes is to increase the joy and well-being of everyone."

Wow! How would it be if we started teaching NVC to young school children and by the time they graduated high school they had developed a high level of proficiency in NVC motivated by honesty, compassion and empathy? It seems that we would have concurrently created enormous amounts of trust in our interpersonal communications, institutions and wider networks.

Sources:

· Wikipedia

· The Center for Nonviolent Communication http://www.cnvc.org/